Frequently Asked Questions
Here are answers to some of the questions I’m often asked about relationship counselling. If there’s anything else you’d like to know before booking, please feel free to get in touch.
No. You don’t have to wait until your relationship is at breaking point before coming to counselling. I work with couples who are dealing with very difficult situations, but I also work with people who simply feel that something in their relationship could be better.
You might keep having the same arguments, feel less connected than you used to, find certain subjects difficult to talk about, or be going through a period of change that is affecting your relationship.
Sometimes talking about these things earlier can make it easier to understand what is happening and stop small difficulties becoming much bigger ones.
Relationship counselling can be about strengthening your relationship as well as helping when things have already become very difficult.
No. I offer relationship counselling to individuals as well as couples.
Sometimes one person is ready to talk to someone before their partner is. You may want some confidential space to understand how you feel about your relationship, look at patterns that seem to keep repeating, or think about what you want to happen next.
Working individually can still help you understand your own responses, communication and relationship needs, even if your partner does not want to attend counselling.
Yes, absolutely. My role is not to tell you whether you should stay together or separate.
Many people come to me because they want to invest in their relationship. They may want to communicate more easily, feel closer, deal with disagreements differently or understand each other better.
Sometimes there is one particular issue that needs attention. At other times, a couple simply knows that they have fallen into patterns that are not working very well for them.
I can help you look at what is happening between you, open up some of those conversations and consider what could be different.
I usually start by finding out what has brought you to counselling and what you would like to be different.
From there, we can begin to look together at what is happening in your relationship, how you communicate and where difficulties tend to arise.
Every person and every relationship is different, so there is no fixed formula.
We may look at recurring arguments, communication, intimacy, trust, changing circumstances or feelings of disconnection.
My aim is not to decide who is right or wrong. I work with you to help you understand what is happening and consider whether there may be different ways of responding to each other or approaching difficult situations.
There is no set number of sessions because it depends on what you would like help with and what feels useful for you.
Some people come to me with a very specific issue and feel that they have achieved what they wanted over a relatively short period.
Other people want more time to explore longer-standing patterns or more complex difficulties.
We can talk about this as the counselling progresses, so you do not need to decide in advance exactly how many sessions you will need.
If you are unsure whether counselling is right for you, I also offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation through LinkedUp Counselling so we can have a brief conversation before you decide whether you would like to book a session.